What I Hate About Parenting

I’ve been feeling pretty catty and resentful lately about parenting, and it’s not because of my beautiful children. They scarcely have anything to do with it, save for the fact that they’re my children that I am parenting them. Nay, what I am catty and resentful about, what I hate about parenting, is everybody else*.

All those people who make snarky remarks about another mother (or father) and their parenting technique.

All those holier than thou people who call 9-1-1 any time they see a kid at the park alone.

All those people who’s “you should/shouldn’t do this” comments spew out every second of the day.

All those people who think that good parenting is being around your children 24/7, and constantly hovering around them, helicoptering all moves they make and “redirecting them”.

All those people who give you dirty looks when you take your kids to the park and then *gasp* don’t play with them. (In my opinion, parks are for kids. Be independent and make friends. I’m not going to hold your hand the whole time).

All those people that judge parents because they parent differently.

Seriously, if you’re going to sit there and judge every single parenting decision that is different than yours, please picture my middle finger in front of your face.

By all means, if you want to be the helicopter parent that doesn’t let their kid breath without obsessing, be that parent. But don’t force your beliefs on other parents. I’m not going to tell you to stop hovering around your child or let them play with other kids without you standing over them, so don’t tell me what to do, either.

I believe in independent play. I don’t believe that I need to entertain my kids 24/7. They have imaginations, and they better put them to good use. I don’t believe that you need to constantly put your kids wants before yours. Yes, I believe your children should be well fed, dressed and warm, but I do not think that buying every single box of Lego Junior sees each time you go to Target is necessary. I do not believe that saying no and encouraging your kids to play independently is bad parenting.

The only “bad parenting” out there is neglectful and abusive parenting, but neglectful is again up for debate. It’s not neglectful for a mother to send her child to a park solo. If that child is old enough and responsible enough to handle the responsibility, then so be it. You shouldn’t be making that decision for another parent though. You don’t know that particular kid, so you can’t make that particular judgement call.

Yes, the judgement is what I hate about parenting…how every single decision you make is wrong in someone else’s eyes, even if it’s right for you and your family. It’s exhausting and wearing, and it makes me want to poke people in the eyeball.

/end rant.

*Of course, there are exceptions to this rule and I certainly don’t hate everyone, I just hate that mindframe, you know?

Advertisements

About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to What I Hate About Parenting

  1. tierney says:

    I’m with ya! I know I don’t have kids, but I’m pretty lax in my nannying style. No shoes? No problem (in the grass, of course). Need to pee when we’re in the pool? There’s a tree. Want to ride your bike up the street and call on the neighbourhood kids? Be my guest, be back by dark. It’s how I grew up and I loved my childhood. I once worked for a lady who actually asked me if, when I take her kids to the park (who were 5 & 6), if I went down the slides with them. Umm NO? I don’t even fit on the slides! Sure, I’ll push the swing or teeter-totter, but your kids are here to be imaginative and play with others independent of adult intervention! Helicopter parents kill me. How do you expect your kids to function as they grow if you never let them experiment independent of you??

  2. YES! The worst decisions I ever made as a parent were the ones I made on the basis of other people’s expectations. When I listened to my heart– and my kids– I knew what they needed, even when it wasn’t what the magazines (or the other parents) were telling me was “right.”

  3. Ugh. This trend toward helicopter parenting DRIVES ME INSANE. I learn more toward the direction of “free range parenting” in that, like you, I believe in giving kids enough space so they learn independence and the importance of personal responsibility and how to do things for themselves. My job as a parent is to teach my children how to grow into fully-functioning adults. How can that possibly be accomplished if I’m still cutting their meat for them when they’re 15?

    I’m with you, though, the worst is the judgment that comes from so many parents. “This is how **I** do things, so **you** should do them this way, too.” Big NOPE on that one. My kids are one day going to be the ones going out into the world with confidence and their heads held high, kicking ass and taking names, knowing that they can do for themselves because they learned how, while your kids are still living in your basement until they’re 30.

    • I’ve never followed trends, I’m proud to say. I also try my damn hardest to mind my own, unless a child is legit danger and I make damn well sure that a) I know the difference and b) that when I approach the parent, I am not a massive judgy bitchy asshole. πŸ˜‰

      Our kids will be well adjusted so I guess we’ll come out on top and I’ll just stick to giving the middle finger to the judgy assholes I encounter πŸ™‚

  4. rachelannt12 says:

    I hear ya. I’m sick of hearing it from everyone. Including family. I think my mother is the worst for the judging. You do what you gotta do and that’s that.

  5. Stephanie Syles says:

    Words of wisdom Jess. I have to say I heard a lot of (opinions) especially while I was pregnant. What I should and shouldn’t do. Even with my daycare kids I believe you need to let a kid, be a kid. Simple. I tell parents to bring extra clothing because if they wanna jump in puddles…then jump! Wanna make a mud pie? I say yum lol. At playgroup that 2 hours in the day that I don’t need to be right there, I’m sitting chatting with other parents enjoying a hot cup of coffee.

    I enjoy the space, the moment where I watch from a short distance and I’m a firm believer that they do too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s