Ok, maybe I don’t exactly have a diagnosis in this…but I’m pretty much convinced that I have Selective ADHD and OCD.
What does that even mean? Well…it means I have a very flitting attention span. I can bounce from one topic to another and literally give you whiplash. I bounce off the walls about these subjects too. I can’t seem to focus on one thing at the same time.
My house has to be clean like all the time. Seeing toys and stepping on legos aggravates me and literally turns me into Dragon Yelly Mom. I may (or may not…I’m not admitting or denying anything) have screeched “I will light these lego pieces on fire if they aren’t picked up RIGHT NOW” at the top of my lungs while rubbing my aching foot. Probably not the most zen-like behavior. In my mind; I am zen-like. That counts, right?
I go on cleaning rampages. I can’t focus on one goddamn thing though so it takes me so much longer. I’ll be in the kitchen, washing dishes and scrubbing counters, and I’ll pretty much scoot over to the living room to pick up toys and leave the sink running. I know, bad and totally shameful for the environment and maybe this wouldn’t happen if my beloved children would pick up the toys the first time I ask them…but I digress. That’s the selective ADHD kicking in with the selective OCD. My house has to be clean or I twitch and tremble until I’ve made it clean. It’s selective, though, because I can kind of turn it off with a good book or an idea for an amazing blog post about selective ADHD and OCD.
I’ve come to the roaring conclusion, however, that this is motherhood. This is normal behavior of a mother of small children. We so rarely get a moment to ourselves that even our thoughts and conversations are interrupted by ourselves in our own desperation to just get the damn sentence out (or finish the damn task, or thought).
Maybe it’s selective ADHD and/or OCD, but it’s probably just motherhood.