Too Much

I am doing too much. This is evident by how swollen my right heel/foot/leg is. It screams slow down, stop doing so much…but I’m not very good at listening. I try, but it’s hard to give my body the breaks that it needs. Solo-parenting is tough, it seems like any opportunity that I get a chance to sit down is short lived. Somebody needs or wants something. We’ve got to go somewhere or do something.

By the end of the day, I can’t even sit up long enough to form a coherent thought, let alone work on my stories. I’m only able to cough out this post from my bed, using my trusty cellphone to compose. If I had to sit up to write…I wouldn’t even be able to it. Another day would pass without a whisper from me.

Today I did a lot, more than I usually do. I had a coffee date with a friend and helped her join my Scentsy team (yay!). Afterwards, my neighbor Candice and I went to the nursery so I could pick out vegetables and spices to start planting in my garden. Of course, Archer came with us. I had to stop off at the bank first, which meant standing in line.

After the bank and the nursery, I want to Target. I actually had hopes of purchasing a few new outfits for myself. Instead? I bought the boys some summer stuff and hats. I still have major reseverations about spending money on myself.

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We returned home and I planted the things I bought at the nursery. Some tomatoes, red peppers, jalapeño peppers, green peppers, chives, sage, thyme, cucumber, celery, lettuce and watermelon. I am proud of my little garden, even if it exhausted me this much to do what little I did today.

I sat for 10 minutes before it was time to pick Nolan up from school. We went to the school, because I thought we were meeting up with a friend of mine for a park day. She had to cancel, though, and I was a little bummed out and relieved. I wonder how I would be feeling now if we had also gone to the park? Yikes.

I had to cheat on dinner again, we ordered a pizza because I cried at the thought of standing on this again…

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The boys thankfully went to bed easy tonight, and for the last half hour I have been laying in my bed…almost unwilling to move to go back downstairs. I may retreat down there eventually when my thirst gets the better of me…but for now, this is good.

I always have such high ambitions…I really need to get back to listening to myself and being gentle.

In addition to the exhaustion and pain I’m feeling, I’m having a sad night. I miss Matt. I miss cuddling and talking after the kids are in bed. I miss foot rubs too, and I hate having my feet touched.

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About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
This entry was posted in bits and pieces, blogging, challenges, chronic pain, complaining, depression, emotional, exhaustion, gardening, honesty, living with chronic pain, me, musings, pain, parenthood, personal, words, writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Too Much

  1. Ooof, looks very painful! 😦 Well wishes to you for a speedy recovery. Beautiful tattoo, by the way!

  2. alm383 says:

    وبشر الصابرين انتي فتاة لها كل الاحترام والتقدير لكفاحك من اجل حياة كريمة

  3. Holy pooh, momma! Gotta take care of yourself. :S Hope you feel better soon.

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