Rising Above

It seems like each day, I face a torrent of different challenges and emotions. Each challenge envokes a different emotion from me. I could choose to wilt under the pressure, to bury my head in the sand and “give up” because it’s hard…but that isn’t an option I’ve embraced. I’ve gritted my teeth,  tried to do the right thing and pushed forward.

When you have kids, giving up can’t be an option. Sure, some days may feel like I could come close, but I don’t. I’ll let go of the things that are insignificant and are of less importance, such as having a clean house. I can’t win all battles every second of the day, after all. I have limited energy.

Yesterday, though…yesterday was hard. Not all day, but in the evening for sure. The kids weren’t listening, weren’t eating their dinner, and just wouldn’t cooperate with a single thing that I said.

I wanted to throw in the towel, and I did…in a way. After several warnings, they got to go to bed early. I vegged out on the couch instead of writing or working on any number of the projects I have going on right now. I had to let those things slide for the evening so I could reset my mind, and get back to me. I’d lost myself in the stress and challenges of the day. In place of, well….me, was an anxious ball of stress that simply wasn’t responding the way I would have wanted.

My reset mostly worked. I woke up feeling much better than I had yesterday evening.
I started our day out with a walk to the bus stop (since two someone’s could stand to lose a couple pounds. Both Bane and I have had too many late night snacks).

Exercise has proven to help your mental state…but what do you do when it helps your mental state but also causes you great physical pain which, in turn, attacks your mental state?

This is a cycle I find myself constantly in. On the one hand, I need the exercise. It frees my mind and soul, and I hate being still. I want to do things, a lot of things. On the other hand, the “payment” for such physical exercise is more pain, which wears on your mind and your heart.

I try to push through all of that, because I know that I would be just as miserable, if not more, if I never exerted myself at all.

All I can do is try to keep my mind in the rising state. Rise above any bad feeling, any pain. Fake it til you make it, am I right?!

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About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
This entry was posted in anxiety, bits and pieces, blogging, challenges, chronic pain, depression, emotional, exhaustion, feelings, frustrations, happenings, heaviness, honesty, living with chronic pain, me, MHE, musings, my life, parenting, personal, struggles, the blah blah blah, tough stuff, uncensored, updates, verbal diarrhea, words, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Rising Above

  1. tierney says:

    So many things you say resonate with me because of, well, this whole chronic pain thing. When I work a typical day, there’s zero chance I do anything active. The way I look at it is: if I exercise before work, I’m physically exhausted at work, if I exercise after work, well- I’m not because I’m too tired.

    I’ve just made a conscious effort to eat way better. Most of my dinner recipes (unless I’m BBQing) come from skinnytaste.com. So much of it is quick, easy and cheap but most importantly, healthy. Since I don’t have the physical capacity to fit in regular exercise, I just decide to eat better. Don’t get me wrong, I exercise when I can, but the food itself is half the battle. If you want some recommendations on her best, easy recipes just ask and I’ll pass them along. I absolutely swear by her and she also has a cook book coming out. You may think I work for her but I don’t, haha. No one even knows it’s “healthy” when I serve any of her recipes. If you have a crock pot, all the better- even easier!

  2. I’m a big believer in “fake it til you make it.” I’m also a big believer in the notion that some days getting to bedtime with everyone still alive and more or less fed is enough of an accomplishment. You’re right that you don’t get to give up, but you can cut yourself extra slack some days.:)

  3. When my girls were little I was a stay at home mom so I know what you’re talking about, having those days that just wear you down like that. I remember them very well. The good news is that those days don’t last forever (even though it seems like that right now). It’s good that you’re staying in touch with yourself and realizing when you need a break. That’s something that I was particularly bad at — or, if I did give myself a break, I felt guilty about it afterwards. Ugh. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

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