Dogs vs Kids

Kids and dogs are surprising a lot alike. Before you try to throw rocks at me, think about it. When you let your kid or dog outside…they get messy and they track it through the house. You can train either or to stay put so you can clean them off, but that’s always a challenge.

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They’re always hungry. They always look at the refrigerator/pantry with sad wide eyes. They always want to have what you’re eating, and I don’t mean “the same thing”, I literally mean the food on your plate. If it’s not from your plate, it’s not the same. Dogs are less picky, though, so that’s a bonus.

They get into trouble if you leave them alone. Dogs can make massive messes, and so can kids. If you leave the room for five minutes, all hell might break loose in your living room. Especially if someone gets ahold of the fluffy pillow or a marker.

Both kids and dogs like to wake you up mulitple times in the night for no apparent reason. They also like to try and take over your bed. They also lick a lot, and more often than not you wake up to someone licking your face at 3am — and it’s [usually] not your husband.

Whenever you make plans to go anywhere, you have to check and see if it’s kid/dog friendly. If it isn’t, you either need to find a sitter or you miss out on going. You get pissy when your childless/dogless friends don’t understand how you need to have your kid/dog near you at all times cause you just love them so much and they totally have separation anxiety when you’re not there. Plus, good babysitters are hard to come by and that gives you anxiety, having someone in your home with your kid/dog. You’ve seen Dateline TV, you know the horror stories. It’s hard to relax with those terrible news articles floating around in your head, and you often cut the weekend short to make sure the babysitter isn’t drinking all your vodka, having orgies in your bed and ignoring your beloved child/dog after locking them in a room.

You get excited when you buy new things for your kid/dog. It doesn’t matter if it’s a new toy that you can play with together or an adorable new outfit or collar.

Both kids and dogs hate bath time, but most love splashing around in the water (unless they have a fear of water). You always end up soaked every bath night, listening to whimpers and complaints. The moment your kid/dog is out of the tub, they run around like possessed beings and roll around in the nearest pile of dirt.

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Kids and dogs like to play favourites to get their way. If you say no to something they want, they’ll approach your spouse and often get their way. They know how to work you both.

I have two kids and a dog. I have seen and experienced all these things first hand. That’s why I always giggle when someone says, “I am a kid person, not a dog person,” (or the opposite). If you can handle kids, you could handle a dog and vice versa.

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About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
This entry was posted in Bane, bits and pieces, blogging, honesty, musings, puppy love, us, verbal diarrhea, words, writing without purpose and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Dogs vs Kids

  1. Hahahaha! This is so damn true!

  2. almostakiss says:

    I love this post so much! You’re right. This is like the Alzheimer’s/toddler analogy I did on my blog. Dogs & kids are pretty much the same. If you ignore them, they will “make you pay”. 😉

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