Pony On, Cowgirl

I said that to a friend of mine in regards to her pursuing something she wanted, and I thought it was pretty epic.

Pony on, cowgirl. It’s rather uplifting, no?

I need uplifting. There are only five days left until Matt leaves. Five more days of having help. Then it’ll be me in the trenches, holding back the enemy of chaos and trying to ensure that my kids survive this month easily. As hard as it’s going to be for me, it’s going to be worse for them. They’ll go from having Daddy around all the time to not seeing him for a whole month. Eek.

I have a game plan, though. Call in reinforcements. Getting help for things I may not be able to do, such as getting Nolan to and from the bus stop, if I’m not able to drive yet, and having someone come over every so often to help me clean (because I know I won’t be able to do heavy cleaning AND solo parent a nearly 5 year old and a rambunctious 2 year old, something will give and it’ll be cleaning which will drive me NUTS), and maybe having someone pick up groceries on my behalf. I can survive with reinforcements.

Alas, I am one of those people that struggles with asking for help. I am full of pride, and I don’t want people to think I can’t “handle” something. Yes, I know recovering from surgery is a pretty understandable reason for needing [that much] help and I am trying to grasp the concept that it’s not a bad thing, not at all. I suppose that it is a blessing having two boys with this disability, because I am able to check myself by thinking….how would I want Nolan or Archer to feel about this? Would I want them to be too stubborn to ask for help, too ashamed? Or would I want them to get help when they need it and not damage the healing process or exhaust themselves?

It’s a tough way to think, but apparently I need that. Otherwise I allow myself to ignore my body’s calls for help.

So, I’ve arranged some help for the weeks to come, and I’m feeling better now that several people have told me to add them to my “call for help” list.

Now I can instead worry about making this transition easier on the boys. Any tips? We’ve already talked to them about how Daddy will be gone for the month for work. Nolan knows that Daddy will not be home on his birthday (and that’s why we are having the party in May). He seems okay with it but the reality will be worse, I think.

If I was fully healed, I could distract my children with fun adventures. Trips to the aquarium, the Science Centre, and other fun locations but alas…I’m not there yet. I’m barely at “manage my household” level yet.

So, tips…if you have them. And don’t worry, we’ll pony on.

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About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
This entry was posted in anxiety, bits and pieces, blogging, challenges, changes, emotional, family, fears, feelings, figuring it out, happenings, hard stuff, health/medical, heaviness, how we do, issues, kids, living with chronic pain, Matt, me, MHE, momlems, pain, parenthood, personal, the blah blah blah, the boys, uncensored, updates, us, verbal diarrhea, words, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Pony On, Cowgirl

  1. Glad to see you have called in more reinforcements. I really like your observation about modelling for your kids that it’s OK to ask for help when you need it. When something is difficult for me, thinking “what do my kids need to see me doing” can really help me make hard decisions and find the discipline to do what I need to do.
    Pony on, Cowgirl!

    • Jess says:

      Thank you!! I’m listening to your advice…finally 😛 and thinking about what our kids need to see vs our own pride is so much more affective.

  2. mscat says:

    To help the kids with the transition, my tip would be Skype or Facetime sessions with their dad each night or morning that you can manage it. Recognize that they may act out because the environment has changed, so they will probably need lots of extra cuddles. Though you’re not yet healed up, perhaps they could do some fun day-long or half-day adventures with local grandparents or aunts/uncles or good friends. That would allow you to have some “me time” or run errands or whatever.

    • Jess says:

      We are definitely planning very regular Skype dates once Matt has a work schedule we can work around. That’s a good idea, about the day or half-day adventures with local grandparents or aunts/uncles. Thank you!!

  3. You’re going to be okay. You’re a strong woman. And you can do this. You can pony on! I’m not gonna lie, it’s going to be challenging and hard, but you absolutely can.

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