People love to talk about me…and I don’t know why, but the things I do (or don’t do) really interest them. I guess I’m a big deal (although I don’t really know why).
I’m a sensitive person. It’s not that I need approval for the things I’ve done, will do, or am doing…but I certainly don’t like to hear about how “I’ll fail” or how “I should do this instead”.
Negativity affects me. No matter what I do, it affects me. “Just let it roll off your shoulders!”, they’ll advise. If only it were that simple…
I can kind of ignore most of it. Kind of. If it’s not in my face. But each negative comment drills itself into my mind. Then I hear it on repeat, like that Call Me Maybe song when it first came out. No matter what I do, I can’t scrub it from my mind.
I do second guess myself a lot. I do wonder if I’m not doing a good job at what I do (parenting, writing, Scentsy etc). I have enough negative voices in my head to last a lifetime and I don’t need anymore. I don’t. When someone says something needlessly negative about me, I bite my tongue and wonder why people can’t just keep their mouths closed if they don’t have anything nice or constructive to say. Being constructive and being judgemental are totally different things.
I mean, you don’t have to love or “approve” of what someone else is doing, but why do you have to put your two cents in? Why do you have to elaborate already difficult situations to turn into juicier gossip?
Just ask me. I am honest about my struggles…but yes, I am sensitive. Even though I am honest about my struggles, I still don’t share everything. Which means you may think you have a clue, but you don’t. You don’t know all of every single thing I chose to share.
Struggling does not make me weak. Struggling does not make me a bad parent/wife/person. Going through rough times financially does not make us “lazy”. We have one person that can physically work, and his chosen profession is extremely competitive. There aren’t enough jobs, which is why he’s going to Regina, for something entirely different than his chosen profession.
You can’t sit there and assume someone isn’t trying or working hard enough. You can’t assume you know every single circumstance in every situation. Especially when you don’t ask me personally, or take the time to understand a situation that is different and more complicated than your typical, run of the mill situation.
All I can do is keep my head up, though, and slowly prove the nay-sayers wrong…one by one. Strength is resilience, perseverance.