Post Surgery Thoughts: Day 17

It has been 17 days since my surgery. I am now walking around with a cane, but I still cannot put weight on my heel without it hurting and throbbing. Along with the pain is the sensation. The sensation is…weird and unpleasant. I cringe whenever Matt touches my heel as he changes my bandage. Even the feel of him gently applying the sterile water to clean around it makes me want to draw my foot away.

I’ve worn shoes on two occasions now, and both times, I clenched my teeth against the pain and discomfort of having my shoe rub against my heel and ankle. Both times, I couldn’t apply weight to my heel. The rubbing was still uncomfortable, because I still had to walk to the car on my toes.

The front muscles in my leg is constantly aching from me walking on the front half of my foot. I am shaky and unbalanced. I won’t lie, I’m scared and anxious about it. What if this never changes? What if the sensation I have in my heel now is the sensation I will have forever more? I’ve lost sensation in other areas of this leg, after other surgeries, but I didn’t have to walk on those areas so it doesn’t really affect me unless I shave it or unless someone is touching my leg. It’s less unpleasant because I’m not actually walking on it. I will need to wear shoes that hug in that area. I will need to apply weight and pressure constantly, just to walk.

The constant pain and discomfort makes me irritable and emotional. I’m exhausted and disappointed in my body. I feel let down by my body, betrayed. My doctor told me I would be able to weight bear as soon as I felt comfortable, and after 17 days I have yet to reach that point.

Matt is leaving for Regina in fifteen days. Fifteen days. What if I’m not any better by that point? He can’t not go. We need this opportunity, this money. I’m tired of my health holding us both back.

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About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
This entry was posted in blogging, challenges, chronic pain, confessions, depression, emotional, hard stuff, health/medical, honesty, insecurities, living with chronic pain, MHE, musings, pain, personal, recovery, tough stuff, ugly cry, updates, verbal diarrhea, words, writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Post Surgery Thoughts: Day 17

  1. Hang in there my beautiful friend. Remember that sometimes it feels like the pain will last forever. But nothing in life stays the same. That’s one thing we can count on in life in change. Your foot won’t hurt forever. I love you! You’re gonna get through this!

    • Jess says:

      Thank you Sarah! I hope you’re right. I’m not going to lie, I’m a negative nancy and moaning molly about it right now. Doom and gloom baby.

  2. Paul Davis says:

    First, I never noticed how awesome your picture was across the top. Is that from your wedding?

    Next, no doubt eventually you’ll bring the pain to heel. I handle bad situations with humor…. I hope you like laughing. Because that’s the best way to heal. Sorry, I’m putting my foot in my mouth. I think I’m done now.

    Praying for you 🙂 Remember, if the kids act up a cane against the back of the knee is an amazing motivator. Also, you need to obviously get an epic cane. Like with a crystal or something as the head. Then you’re walking with swagger.

    • Jess says:

      Haha Paul!!!

      Yes that photo is from our wedding, and thank you!

      I did laugh a lot at that joke ahha. And I should get an epic cane….hmmm…..time to check Amazon!

  3. I had surgery on the pad of my foot when we were in public school and I remember it feeling really weird to put weight on and touch even after I “able” to walk on it again. It was worse right at the beginning of the healing process but it got better quickly enough for me to walk without too much discomfort. It still wigs me out for people to touch it and sometimes it just goes numb – for shits and grins suppose – but all in all it doesn’t cause me a whole lot of discernible discomfort on a daily basis.
    I don’t know if that puts your mind at ease at all but I thought maybe it would help to hear that what you’re feeling isn’t completely out of line. It definitely sucks but it’s fairly normal; at least in my experience.

  4. mscat says:

    Would physiotherapy be helpful at this time (while hubs is still local)? Even just to make sure that you’re not going to cause more issues by walking on your toe. I can’t imagine having to learn a new way of walking on a previously injured foot without some assistance from a professional. The time crunch makes it all very stressful!

    • Jess says:

      I asked my doctor if I could get a referral for a PT and he said it wasn’t necessary because I can weight bear “as soon as I’m comfortable.”…whenever that is. I’m gonna ask again when my stitches come out.

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