Mile a Minute

One of the most important things a person can do after a surgery is get lots of rest. However, I’m having a bit of trouble with that one.

I’m a busy girl. In addition to being a mom (let’s face it; you can’t take a rest from mom stuff), I’m also in the midst of finding an agent to work with to get my book published, and I’m also trying to run a successful business. Since my surgery on Thursday, all that hasn’t stopped. I’ve mailed several query letters to agents for my book, and I managed to get promoted to Scentsy Lead Consultant on the last day of February.

Resting isn’t easy for me right now. There’s just so many other things that I need to be doing. More query letters, for one. Another is preparing for the Scentsy basket parties I’ll be having this month. With the new catalogue out, everyone wants to host a party this month…which is great, but obviously a little difficult to manage.

I’m also starting a Director-in-Training course with my Scentsy team today, and there is a team meeting on Thursday that I’d really like to go to. Not sure if that can happen, but I’m going to try!

It’s so frustrating, not being able to do what I can normally do. I can’t get up with my kids. I can’t make breakfast and prepare Nolan’s lunch. I can’t even sit with the kids downstairs for long, because the moment they try to get into something or need something….I am useless.

It also sucks because our bathroom and bedrooms are up a flight of stairs. Steep wooden stairs. It takes a lot of my very limited energy to get up and down them. I’ll get all the way downstairs and half an hour later, I’ll have to use the bathroom. Then I have to climb all the way up them.

I’m using a walker right now, as I don’t have crutches that fit me. The walker is great but obviously…not on stairs. I have to sit on my bum and ease myself down to go downstairs, and I have to crawl up them on my knees with Matt helping support my weight so I don’t destroy my freshly operated on shoulder. Then he has to help me stand up once I reach the landing.

Clearly, it’s a massive fleet and struggle to manage the stairs right now. I still try to go down at least once a day to hang with the kids.

I’m so impatient, six weeks is going to take forever. Yes, I am glad that I can do most things from my bed. Query letters, novel editing, most background Scentsy happenings can be done with ease up here. Preparing the party kits, and doing my regular taking care of kids and the house stuff….that I can’t do. Not without help.

I won’t lie…I feel guilty. I remember exactly how hard and strenuous being mommy and daddy was back when Matt had his accident. Plus taking care of someone on bed rest who isn’t as mobile as they usually are…it was hard. I know it’s hard for Matt. Especially because I require more care. I can’t do the stairs, like at all by myself. I tried once, last night, after the kids went to bed and Matt finally went out for his smoke and I didn’t want to call him back in. It was a bad idea, a terrible idea and I am still paying for it. Matt ended up having to rescue me anyway, and he was completely aggravated that I didn’t wait or ask for help.

So, I feel bad. I know how much doing it all while your partner recovers sucks. I know how exhausting it is to not get any breaks. Naturally, because I went the hospital and came back bandaged up and sore, the kids are a little confused and acting out. They’re bored, too. Our activities have dwindled because Matt can’t venture too far from me. Plus, it’s exhausting.

Did I mention it’s exhausting?

I’m trying to be patient and give myself rest and time to heal, but dang…that’s hard! Especially with my mind going a mile a minute, reminding me of all the things I need/should/want to be doing.

P.S. Some post surgery humour for you all…

FUCKYA

And yes, I created that meme. I am so proud of myself.

 

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About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
This entry was posted in bits and pieces, blogging, challenges, chronic pain, facts, feelings, foggy, frustration, happenings, hard stuff, health/medical, heaviness, honesty, imperfections, insecurities, life as I know it, living with chronic pain, Matt, me, MHE, mom guilt, musings, pain, personal, projects, real talk, updates, verbal diarrhea, words, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Mile a Minute

  1. Paul Davis says:

    Did you get the 2014 writer’s market book to find places to send queries? They have one specifically for agents.

    I remember when my adnoids were taken out. Had them taken out Wednesday. Figured I’d be back Monday. It was that Thursday before I actually got back in the classroom. However, I enjoyed it. Watched TV, did a bunch of writing, caught up on video games, did a bunch of grading and lesson planning. Take your time. Do what you love. You’ll heal quicker if you’re smiling πŸ˜‰

  2. I know that slowing down is tough. I struggle with that, too….a lot. But something that I’ve learned is that accepting our circumstances as they currently are is whole lot less exhausting than fighting against it every single step of the way. I know you want to be doing more….but frustration is only going to make the time seem longer. Be gentle with yourself. xo

  3. Enjoy having an excuse to let people pamper you! Guilt is highly overrated πŸ™‚

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