I can’t help but laugh when people think I’ve got it together. I’ve never once claimed to be the perfect anything, but people will still assume that I know what I’m doing, just because I have two kids and reframe from posting ranty things all over the Internet.
Well, on Facebook anyway. I’m pretty open about stuff on my blog. Facebook is my “paint a pretty picture” place, mainly because if you dare post ranty things on Facebook, people will bitch about it and call you out on it. True story. It’s happened to me every time I’ve posted something even slightly ranty. And the best part? I wasn’t near as ranty as I am on my blog (or in my head). Silly Facebook police.
So, because Facebook is typically all sunshine and lollipops, people often mistake me for someone who knows what the hell they are doing, and for someone who enjoys every minute of it.
I have accidentally, inadvertently become a marriage and parenting guru by my lies of omission on Facebook. It’s to the point where I have had several Facebook friends ask me a truck load of parenting questions, which I haven’t the slightest clue about how to answer.
In all honesty, I probably shouldn’t even be answering any of the questions I’ve been asked…which is why I don’t. I literally tell people I have no idea or to consult a physician.
In addition to the myriad of parenting questions is my personal favourite; what is your secret to a happy marriage?
It bewilders me that my friends actually think I know the secret to a happy marriage. It’s probably because I am the first of my group of friends to actually get married, and therefore am the marriage guru.
Every time I’m asked that question, I freeze with the stupidest look on my face because I just cannot comprehend why someone would ask me that. I mean, sure. We are in love. We are dedicated to each other and solving our issues, but we aren’t always happy. In fact, we are both miserable people. Situations affect our moods. Some days we down right just don’t like each other. We love each other, but on those days we just can’t stand each other (and on those days…space is definitely needed!)
I guess the most honest answer I can give is, nobody is perfect. No marriage is perfect. Don’t idealize someone else’s marriage or spouse because you’re only hearing the good bits, you aren’t hearing the midnight arguments, the shitty things they do. Because everyone does shitty things. I am not excluded from that, I do my fair bit of shitty things.
Marriage takes work, parenting too. It’s hard to care for someone else’s needs and let yours fall to the wayside.
Look at me, sliding into the role of parenting and marriage guru. Seriously though, do what you feel is right. Asking me for help is probably the worst thing you could do. I give horrible advice.