Useless Zombie or Total [Useless] Bitch

When my pain levels get to the holy shit, this is unbearable point, I get to make the conscious decision between being a useless zombie or a total bitch. It’s really a lose/lose situation for me, considering…who wants to be a useless zombie or a total bitch? Those choices aren’t exactly ideal.

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The most accurate zombie I'd be. Minus the flesh eating, I mean.

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If I take the T3s (the current pain killers I rely on), I turn into a useless zombie. I become slow and sloth like, and oh so tired. To make matters even more awesome, the T3s only dull my pain. It’s still there, the edges are just dulled slightly. I pretty much drool on myself (kidding — it’s T2s that make me drool) for slight relief. I become a blob on the couch or in my bed. I don’t get the things done that I want to get done.

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Pretty much.

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If my pain is unbearably bad and I don’t take any pain medication, I turn into a total bitch. I’m snappy, grumpy and unable to really do much. The things I do get done, are done with a bitchy, grumpy attitude because I hurt. So again, I don’t get the things that I want (and need) to do done.

Unfortunately, I’ve been having a lot of unbearable pain days as of lately. This means that my to-do list is growing and growing and I haven’t really been able to check things off.

I’ve learned, when this happens, to seriously cut down on my expectations for myself. If everyone is fed, the dishes are done and the bathroom is relatively clean, and everyone is where they are supposed to be….I pat myself on the back for a job well done. It’s the small things.

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Accuracy.

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About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
This entry was posted in blogging, challenges, chronic pain, complaining, frustrations, genetically mutated, happenings, health/medical, honesty, how we do, living with chronic pain, MHE, motherhood, musings, my two cents, oh my life, parenting, personal, random, ranting, real talk, reflecting, the blah blah blah, uncensored, updates, verbal diarrhea, words and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Useless Zombie or Total [Useless] Bitch

  1. OMG Jess I love you so much! This is so hilarious! I love you when you’re bitch or a zombie or both!

  2. Trauma Dad says:

    Take the win! It may be the small stuff, but it’s a big deal. I love that every time I see T3 I think of the movie Terminator 3, and tax forms (only one of these things is potentially a pain killer).

  3. lostlilies12 says:

    Sometimes being a zombie is ok. You do things just out of hibbit and not think. I know when gavin comes home some days and ask how my day was I just reply ” the house is still standing and the kids are alive” chronic pain and depression suck. Especially in moms. You do your best. Thats all that matters. And bitch moments are aloud. That means your human.

  4. Aussa Lorens says:

    Argh, I’m sorry to hear about your pain being high. I think that last meme nails it though– just keep them alive and relatively unexposed to harmful carcinogens and I say you’re good.

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