Oh The Feels….

I’ve always been one of those people who feels a lot. I’m pretty sure the term “oh the feels” was created for those just like me. The ones who experience emotion deeply. All kinds of emotion. Anger, happiness, sadness, worry. I feel like I feel them all much more than regular people feel them.

I’m the kind of person that cries at semi-emotional commercials, that is destoryed when a character in a book or movie dies I’m still mourning the death of Fred Weasley from the Harry Potter series.

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Seriously…who can blame me for that? Most tragic Harry Potter death ever.

My mom used to tell me I was intense. No happy-medium. I was either extremely, notably happy or extremely, notably unhappy. I easily take offense to things that most people wouldn’t and don’t because if I feel offended or hurt, I feel it, a lot. It feels big to me, even if it’s “small” to someone else.

Matt is constantly irrirated with me for being “so emotional”, just like my mom was, when I was a kid. I’ve always been told “you’re too emotional”, as if that’s a bad thing. As if experiencing emotion is bad, an illness. Why is it so bad? Why are we constantly told how to feel? That feeling too much is bad, and feeling too little is bad, and if you don’t fall into the appropriate middle ground of emotional feeling, then you’re “messed up”.

I get aggravated when someone is aggravated at my emotions, which makes it worse. Dealing with my emotions is hard enough, I’m easily effected by everything. Other people’s emotions, outside stressers, things happening to people I care about it…trying to pinpoint why I’m feeling the way that I’m feeling, trying to stop feeling that, is hard and exhausting in itself. When someone gets mad at me for it and starts demanding the “whys” that I’m already asking myself, I get overwhelmed and shut down. Which undoubtedly pisses the other person off, because I won’t express what I’m thinking, because I can’t. I’m too busy feeling and trying to make sense of it, and feeling stupid because I’m feeling “too much”.

That’s when I start to buy into that notion that if you feel too much, you need medicine to not feel. That seems scary, to me…medicine to not feel? I don’t know. It just doesn’t sit easy with me, and I’ve tried it before. It didn’t really work, it just made me more anxious and more exhausted. Plus….I like feeling. I think a lot of what’s wrong with the world is that we don’t feel enough, we look at feelings and emotions as bad things we need to control and fix, and that’s not the point of feelings.

The point of feelings is obvious; feel.

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About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
This entry was posted in anxiety, blogging, challenges, emotional, feelings, hard stuff, honesty, insecurities, musings, personal, reflecting, scribbles, self image, self love, self-esteem, uncensored, updates, verbal diarrhea, words, writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Oh The Feels….

  1. S. L. says:

    I agree with you! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with feeling deeply, passionately about something, whether that’s happiness or sadness. (Unless someone is clinically depressed, and it’s getting in the way of enjoying life.) I also don’t like that we teach boys not to show emotions/sadness because it’s “girly” and “weak.” It’s healthy to get those feelings out.

    That being said…sometimes I feel my reactions to books/movies/TV shows/fictional characters are totally not normal, ha! I was kind of a mess during the second Hunger Games movie. And speaking of Harry Potter, I’m still sad about Snape.

    • Jess says:

      Okay, so maybe Fred wasn’t the saddest…but damn his family’s reaction, George’s reaction, guts me every time. Snape’s death was also tragic and makes me cry too – Sirius made me sad when it happened but I kind of came to terms with it but I’ve never really come to terms with Fred or Snape. See? There I go lol.

      I try so hard to let my boys know it’s okay to feel feelings and have emotions, but it’s difficult because I battle trying to change how I feel about feelings (being brought up in this society where they are bad, you start to believe it). It’s a struggle but one that I won’t give up on. Maybe by the time my grandkids are born, society’s view on feelings will be entirely different. I think we’re making headway, not nearly enough but progress is progress!

  2. Paul Davis says:

    I know what you mean. I weep from time to time. I’m not being weak, I’m accepting that what’s in front of me moved me or hurt me immensely. I’ve heard this with artists of any type. We internalize it. We keep living it. Anyway, I did the same thing as a kid. My nephew is showing the same tendencies. Even though currently his vocabulary sucks, one day he’ll be a Hemmingway. Since I’m obviously his favorite uncle, he’ll pay for me to have a gorgeous nurse take care of me in my old age in his mansion.

    • Jess says:

      Sounds legit! I think both my boys will be emotional. They sure do act like I did as a kid!

      • Paul Davis says:

        Start early. Teach them to tear their clothes and how to wield sword and shield. We already got my nephew a sword and shield, though training hasn’t started. Too young still.

      • Jess says:

        Haha my husband used to be big into Amptguard (or however you spell it, it’s like real life Dungeons and Dragons) so he’s got that covered. He’s made countless weapons for the boys out of pool noodles and cardboard πŸ˜‰

  3. ipsita767 says:

    Hear, hear! πŸ˜€
    You’re not the only one who has overwhelming emotions. When I heard Paul Walker died, I cried my eyes out the whole day through almost, even when I don’t even know the guy! :/
    Proud to be emotional! \m/

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