When I went into the walk in clinic and the doctor prescribed me steroid puffers for my bronchitis, I kind of got excited. I pictured myself not only healed from Bronchitis immediately, but also with boundless amounts of energy, and possibly nicer pipes.
Of course, there’s always a danger side to that theory…but I was certain my level of steroids would be just enough for the immediate relief from coughing (and peeing my pants), and more shapely arms.
Only, that didn’t happen. Instead, my heart hammers in my chest and I feel weak and shaky constantly.
Caffeine probably doesn’t help those sensations, but I can’t turn away from the delectable liquid of the Gods.
I did, however, keep having minor panic attacks and complained a lot about how fast my heart was beating. Then I randomly declared to my husband; “I’d be horrible on cocaine.”
Matt agreed. Not that either of us have actually seen anyone on cocaine (aside from Rob Ford that is), but Web MD tells me that the effects of it are:
• an increasing sense of energy and alertness
• an extremely elevated mood
• a feeling of supremacy
I’ve put the relevant symptoms of what I’ve been feeling since I started using my puffers in bold.
Anyway, the moral of this story is I feel funny and I’m still coughing/peeing my pants. Also, don’t do steroids. At least not the kind that makes you look like a balloon animal.
Also, don’t do cocaine.