I was sitting on the couch last night with my sons, when an intense feeling of nostalgia hit me as I thought about the struggles of my days, both in the past and present. I remembered, wistfully, the days of newborn coos and up all nighters. I remembered how desperate I felt for a good nights sleep. I remember how crazy I felt when it was going on nearly 2 years of interrupted sleep, thanks to my youngest. I remembered the frustration, the tears, and the joy. How it felt like they’d never get past whatever frustrating stage they were at.
The second time around was harder, Archer slept so poorly that I honestly felt like I was loosing my mind. Sleep is important, and you don’t realize how important until you’re not getting enough of it. My patience was affected – majorly. I thought those days would never end. I thought Archer would always wake up throughout the night, and a good nights rest was forever lost to me.
But then…over time…his wake ups became less frequent until they rarely happened at all (unless he was sick). Those days of constant sleep struggles were…over. Gone. Never to return, at least not in the way that they’d been.
I know I dramatically wail about how difficult toilet training Nolan has been, and I am guilty, on occasion, of still wondering if he’ll ever get it. But, I know he will. I know I’ll look back on this struggle and smile wistfully, because those days will be gone.
My boys are never as young as they are in this moment. They will keep growing, keep changing, keep keeping me on my toes with new challenges and obstacles. They will always be my babies.
So, to the massive wave of nostalgia that hit me yesterday…thank you, for the reminder of how fleeting time really is. Thank you for reminding me to cherish these days, even the most difficult days, because they’ll be out of my reach sooner than I care to admit. I have one of those personalities, wherein I get really agitated when things don’t go the way I planned for them to go. I’ve gotten a little better in recent years, but there’s still plenty of room for improvement.
I’m guilty of forgetting that and allowing the stress of a difficult situation to overwhelm me. My goal, now that I’ve realized this, is to just let those difficult moments roll off my shoulder and embrace the fact that I get to have all these moments with my boys. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.