I read an article today about marriage, and how it’s not for you, or for me. At first, I was skeptical. How could marriage NOT be for me? I’m married! But then I read on, and woah buddy. The author hits the nail on the head on that one.
It’s humbling, really, and it puts things into perspective. A lot of the time, when I’m mad at Matt for something he said or did (or didn’t say or do), I’m at fault. I’m at fault for making a request and not being patient enough to allow him the time he needs to complete it, or the right to refuse the request all together. No where in our vows did it say “husband must listen and obey every fleeting request in a timely matter”.
That’s one of my major faults, and something I’m actively trying to work on. I may not always be successful, but I’m trying. Because that article is true – marriage isn’t about me, it’s about the person I married. I married Matt because I love him, and I want to make him happy. He married me for those same reasons. When I’m not being a perpetual pain in the ass and stomping my foot like a toddler because I didn’t get my way, he does make me unbelievably happy. Any time I’m “unhappy”, I have myself to blame…on account of the whole temper tantrum over not getting my way thing.
I’ve improved, I’ve seen the changes. I’m focusing more on Matt and his needs/wants, because it fulfills my own. We usually want the same thing anyway, and if we don’t, I still want to see him happy.
I’ll admit, I lost sight of that in the past year or so. Or maybe I just didn’t truly comprehend how to love someone selflessly. I’ve always loved Matt, but I’ve always been very selfish about it. It’s kind of embarrassing to confess that, but there it is…in black and white, more or less.
So, my new vow is to always strive to love selflessly.