I don’t know what it is about the anonymity of the Internet that brings out all the shitty qualities in people. I don’t know why people think they can hide behind a fake name, a fake email and a blank picture and say cruel and hurtful things to someone, whether they know them in real life or not.
Why do people lash out? Why do people actively seek to make other people miserable? Why can’t everyone just be all civil and chill and cool? Why can’t kindness be the norm?
Kindness is now noteworthy, like front page noteworthy. When something good happens, it gets shared and talked about because good things happening, kindness in strangers is that uncommon.
This is what we, society as a whole, have become. Cruelty, or worse still…indifference to cruelty, is the norm.
I believe I have a stalker. Someone I know or have known in real, or someone who is just super obsessed with reading every little bit I write on social media sites, then lashes out with the intent to hurt and inflect emotional pain. While some of it gets to me (like the comments about my children and their “quality of life” after inheriting my bone disorder), most of it is ridiculous.
Their main target seems to be Matt. Any time I mention Matt, anywhere I get comments from them dissing his work ethic and predicting he won’t be able to “keep this job either”. That’s rather funny, because Matt’s never been fired from a job and he’s always been a valued employee. He has left jobs on his own accord, when we’ve moved to a new town hours away, and he’s been laid off when there isn’t enough work (along with A LOT of people), but he’s never had issues keeping a job. He’s upgraded jobs, which isn’t the same as “not being able to keep them”.
He’s been told by his boss that he’s a very valued and loved employee. That he will go very far in the company. That doesn’t sound like he’s not going to be able to keep this job, to me. But my anonymous stalker/hater will poke jabs at his work ethic at any opportunity. Which makes me think that the person behind the messages is that old family friend we had a falling out with years ago. She used to tell me Matt was “too restless to work the same job every day” and that I needed to “stop forcing him to get a job” (which, for the record, I wasn’t forcing. He wanted a job, I was just driving him places to drop off his résumé because his license expired and he hadn’t gotten around to renewing it).
Anyway, at the time both Matt and I thought that was a weird thing to say, but she said a lot of weird stuff when the falling out happened and made a lot of threats. She seemed obsessed with Matt, which was creepy, given that she was old enough to be his mother and was his moms friend. She even would go to his place of work just to harass him and make him uncomfortable, and she threatened to “kick my ass, pregnant or not”. Plus all the cruel things she said about our unborn child…
If it’s not her, then it’s someone equally disturbed. And yes, that does make me nervous and uneasy. Someone that involved in my life in a negative way reaching out to cause harm is scary.
I have thought about shutting everything down, but then this anonymous person would win.
I’ve been told to just “ignore it”, but it gets hard to do. Really hard to do. This person talks as if they know a lot about my family, about things I don’t write about online. It’s their tone that’s hard to ignore, even if most of what they say is untruths twisted around and misconstrued, a weak attempt to make it look like I’m lying about things, or that my life is terrible and Matt is terrible.
We aren’t perfect, we make mistakes with our budget and live and learn. We don’t always see eye to eye, and sometimes we get on each other’s nerves, but this person acts as if that’s so terribly uncommon. Newsflash; it’s not. Matt loves his family, loves me, and lives for us. Matt works hard and provides very well, and yes – that wasn’t always the case, he did have trouble finding steady employment for a while but he never stopped working odd jobs, he wanted the career though, which was difficult to find but he did.
Furthermore, I wonder why any of this even matters to this anonymous message sender. Why do you care so much about our lives? Why does it matter to you what we spend our money on, or don’t spend our money on? Unless you’re obsessed with Matt, which seems to be the case. Bashing him yet ALWAYS about him/us.
I realize I don’t even need to explain myself or acknowledge it, but I am anyway. This is me, calling this person out. Show your face, OWN what you’re saying and stop being a coward. If you have a problem with him/me, say it without the grey face. If you hate us so much, and if you’re someone I know, having us cut you out of our lives shouldn’t bother you that much – unless we already did and you’re just creepily stalking, or you’re someone we don’t even know. In which case, why are you hiding behind your computer screen? I implore you. Come forward.
Or, better yet…keep your shitty opinions to yourself, block and delete me off social media and don’t read my stuff. Find something better to do with your life. I’m sure you can find something. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, invest your time in your own husband/wife, kids or family. Or even on bettering yourself. You can rise above your hatred and make yourself happier by being less negative.