A Little Whine with my Coffee…

My pain levels are incredibly high right now, like I-should-be-using-a-cane high, but I can’t because Archer just steals it anyway.

We bought Tylenol with muscle relaxers for both Matt and I, and it’s been helping a little. I’m able to move around at least. It doesn’t take away my pain, but it makes me less stiff.

My anxiety about all things is incredibly high too. Deep breaths are kind of failing me. There seems to be a lot on my plate. This is kind of my way of separating it all and trying to tackle each thing causing me anxiety with a little therapeutic writing. Aren’t you guys lucky!

The other night, Matt crawled into bed and confessed that his pain was too great to go to work in the morning, and that he was extremely pissed off and frustrated with the entire situation. He shouldn’t have gotten hurt. He did everything he was supposed to, someone else made a mistake and it has cost him almost a month so far of pain and set backs. He wants to go back to work, but he’s still using the crutches and his pain is still very high from doing all that he’s been doing that he’s not supposed to be doing, but he won’t listen to anybody’s “take it easy” suggestions. He can’t listen, because if he takes it easy than I do more and he knows that I’m already doing beyond what I can and he knows that I’m suffering from a lot of pain. It’s so ridiculous. People keep saying “chill! It will work out!” And Matt and I are both like, um. No. Things just don’t do themselves. Walls need to be painted and we need to pack. We have to do those things, despite pain.

What’s the rush? Aside from simply wanting to get all moved in, the rush is that I’m getting the bus situation sorted but they are only willing to send it to our new place. When Matt goes to back to work in a couple of days, he will need the van. I can’t walk Nolan to school. He’s gotta take a bus. So, there’s pressure there.

I’ve been told by pretty much everyone I talked about this that “you don’t need to paint,” I suppose that’s true, kind of. But…it’s also not true. It’s easier to paint when it’s empty, opposed to trying to get around furniture and kids and the dog. In fact, if I tried to paint with the kids and dog around, I’d likely have a bunch of dog fur painted into the walls and little painted handprints on every surface. Paint + toddlers = a mess. Ideally, if Matt was at 100%, it’d be done already.

Later this morning, I’m going to the house in the morning to paint with my friend. I know I’m going to be in pain in the afternoon, but I’m gonna have to deal with it then. Even if I just get the bedrooms painted with their first coat, I’d be happy. The majority of work would be done. The second coats are much easier to do.

Also…about tomorrow. Nolan starts school. Can we just like think about that for a moment? It feels like just last week he was born, and yesterday he was taking his first steps. Well, figuratively. Yesterday he was actually meeting his teacher…but I digress. I can’t believe he’s going to school. He’s so excited! He asked me if he’d be able to play with the potato head pieces! That’s always his first question, he’s been obsessed with them for years now.

I’m going to be a wreck, probably. Matt, Nana, Archer and I will all be dropping Nolan off. Nana took the day off, and all of us want to see him off. I’m so nervous for both Nolan and myself. I know Nolan will likely have TONS of fun, but I won’t know how it went until schools out!

Seriously…I predict A LOT of nervous cleaning. Which is kind of in my favour, but also ouch.

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I hope Archer adjusts well to losing his play mate during the day – I’m both sad and nervous about that. I’ll have to plan a lot of fun activities to keep him busy! Archer plays well with Nolan but he’s a little shy and hesitant with other kids, so I’m going to take him regularly to the Early Years Centre. I was doing that before, but because Nolan was there he’d just want to play with Nolan and not the other kids. Maybe now he’ll start playing with other kids? Maybe?

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Oh man. What an adjustment for us all.

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About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
This entry was posted in anxiety, big things, blogging, chronic pain, exhaustion, family, happenings, hard stuff, issues, Kindergarten, Matt, me, MHE, momlems, motherhood, musings, pain, school, struggles, stuff, updates, what I'm feeling, words, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to A Little Whine with my Coffee…

  1. I’m sorry you’re in pain love. 😦 I hope the CalMag helps. And I’m sorry Matt’s in pain too!

    It’s so exciting that Nolan is starting school! He’s going to love it! And I know how you feel. The first week will be weird but you’ll see he’ll love it and you’ll get a break.

    And Archer will make friends at the Early Years Centre.

    There us so much goid stuff happening here. Focus on that 😀

  2. if you can steal the time, try some hot baths. They sometimes help for me, at least to take the edge off.
    Good luck with everything!

  3. Poppy says:

    I am so sorry you’re in so much pain, I completely empathize from my really bad back pain days.

    And, I am completely jealous that Canada sells Tylenol Back Pain. We don’t have meds with muscle relaxants over the counter, as far as I know.

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