Touched Out

Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom. I really do. These little people amaze me each and every single day, even on my “touched out” days. They still bring smiles to my face, I’m still 100% thankful that I’m a stay-at-home mom and that I get to be with them every single day. Really, I am. But…I’m still touched out.
If you’re a mom, I’m sure you know what I mean by “touched out”. My kids have been sick for a week now, both of them have been whiny and clingy. More so Archer than Nolan, but still. I feel like I haven’t had actual “me time” in forever. I steal snippets, here and there. When Nolan is zoned out watching a TV show (or, in this moment, upstairs actually napping) and when Archer is content enough on his own. It’s so rare these days for Archer to be content on his own, and it never lasts more than five minutes or so. Archer is my cling on baby. He wants me 24/7 and sometimes I just get so touched out. Especially when he doesn’t want anything in particular, just to be held and to cry at me about how horrible his sickness is.
I’m still sick too, still not 100% back to me, so that doesn’t help. My patience is almost dried up, for today anyway. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll wake up feeling well rested and refreshed.
I wanted to take the kids out for a walk, but then Matt’s friend and his girlfriend stopped by. That was fun, another unexpected house guest when I’m not dressed or put together at all. I was wearing the same ripped in the butt PJ bottoms and tank top from yesterday. When they showed up, I was waiting for Matt to wake up so I could shower and get dressed…but oh well. I definitely didn’t want to meet Matt’s friend’s girlfriend dressed like that but I did so…I guess whatever? I’ll just have to take that as a reminder to get dressed every single morning, or something. Maybe. That seems like so much effort.
I’ve been dying to get some time to start writing the short story I’ve been sitting on for a while, but any time I get (these five minute snippets of “me time”) isn’t enough to get lost in writing. Evenings used to be my writing time, after Nolan went to bed, but with Archer added to the mix…I’m lucky to get blogging time! I’m not complaining, or I’m not meaning to anyway. I love this, I love being a mama to two. I just wish I could figure out a way to fit in more writing time and still not suffer from mom guilt or exhaustion (I really need whatever sleep I can get).
Speaking of writing time…that time has passed. Archer is beginning to fuss and that probably means my time here is coming to a close. Just as well. I need to get ready to take the boys out on a walk. It’s nice enough out.

About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
This entry was posted in I don't really know, me, mom guilt, quick notes, thoughts, updates, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Touched Out

  1. Nicole says:

    it's hard to see the forest for the trees right now… but this too shall pass. We wont be stuck in this phase forever, thank god, so just remember to look for that tiny light at the end of the tunnel… it's there, do you see it?
    I do… mine is that Marco's going to school 3 days a week in the fall… YES! More one on one time with Jonas, and maybe even more “me time”. For sure I'll have more energy. Remember how having only one was a piece of cake? ahhh, I can't wait!

  2. I cannot STAND unexpected guests. I know that sounds harsh but I really appreciate a phone call in advance. For a number of reasons. 1.) I want to be dressed and not embarrassed about my appearance when someone comes over. If I have nothing going on I don't shower until the kids go down for naps or right before I go to bed at night. I'm not a wake up and shower type of gal, it's too difficult with the kids in the morning. Also, I don't do make up or hair unless I have a reason to. 2.) Just because I'm a stay at home mother doesn't mean I have NO plans all day long. I have a schedule that I stick to in order to get shit done around here. I personally, prefer my company after dinner time. We can have coffee together, there's a couple hours left to visit with the kids, and all of my day time stuff is done and out of the way.

    I hope you get well soon and remember, it will get easier.

  3. Aww, I hope you're all feeling better soon, and things get easier. Don't feel guilty, we all feel that way. I'm getting a bit more free time lately as my daughter gets older, but she does NOT let me write. She jumps all over me and the writing gets all messed up, I swear she is a monkey child. I can only write when she is unconscious and then there is so many other things for me to get done, I haven't worked on my book in ages. 😦

  4. I can relate–but as a mom who is on the other side, I can tell you it gets easier (after it gets harder–those teenage/young adult years have a whole different problem set)!!!

    I love how different all these blogs are on the hop.

  5. jessi ♥ says:

    I suggested finding out about day care for Nolan, but Matt doesn't want “someone else” raising our kids…but if it were only half a day once a week, it would help me out SO much. Sigh. I remember how having only one was a piece of cake…I remember stupidly thinking that that meant I would be able to handle two! What a fool I was…

  6. jessi ♥ says:

    I definitely hate unexpected guests too. A call or even text to give me a heads up would be greatly appreciated, it's not like I feel bad enough about my “sense of style” ,but not even having the opportunity to toss on some clothes? Yeah, Hate that. And I agree with #2 too lol. I prefer after dinner drop ins too, I hate having to feel like I need to feed someone when I can't afford to do that :S

  7. jessi ♥ says:

    That's my EXACT problem. Any writing I get done these days is blog writing! That's all I have time for. I have this wonderful idea that I want to grow into a story but I can't even sit down and think about it. 😦

  8. jessi ♥ says:

    I'm dreading the teen years lol! Although I'm thankful that I don't have to deal with girl teenage hormones…WOAH. I remember those all too well 😉

    I love that about blog hops!

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