Double the Anxiety

Since Archer’s birth, I have always had someone around. For the first week, it was Kim. For the second week my friend Robyn came up. Since then it’s been Matt, who has been home because the shop has no work for him. I will continue to have his help until he finds another job.
Anyways, because of it…I haven’t really had to handle both the kids on my own. I mean, sure…Matt does leave us at home to go grocery shopping or run errands, and I do allow him his sleep in time in the morning. But that’s different because we aren’t going anywhere, we aren’t out and about and even with just being home I sometimes find that stressful. Like when Nolan wants lunch and I’m trying to fix it, but then Archer wants his lunch and starts crying, and then Nolan starts getting aggravated because I’m not “helping baby” but when I try to help baby he gets aggravated because he wants to eat. Holy smokes.
Yesterday I was getting ready for a walk with Matt and the boys. I was handling Archer and Matt was getting Nolan ready. Even though I was only handling one kid, I was overwhelmed and exhausted by the time we got outside.
How am I supposed to handle two kids on outings by myself? In theory, it sounds so easy. Get myself ready, get Nolan ready, get Archer ready, go. But in real life it’s so chaotic. Archer generally wants a top up when we need to leave somewhere, and Nolan gets sick of waiting and starts peeling off his outside clothes and shoes, or runs around and hides.
Also: I’m not a physically strong person, and I need both my hands to carry Archer’s baby carrier. How am I supposed to hold Nolan’s hand? He is a runner and it’s embarrassing to admit but he doesn’t listen to me when we’re going somewhere. He just gets so excited and his curiosity gets the best of him, he takes off exploring and doesn’t come back if I just call him. I have to go over, take him by the hand and lead him to the car or wherever we’re going. 
I have a lot of anxiety when I think about him taking off when I’m trying to get us somewhere, so much so that I’m anxious right now just thinking about it.
There is talk of Matt applying to go out of province for work. I’m not going lie: I am positively terrified about having to tackle running errands with two kids. Grocery shopping, Walmart runs, trips to the park and EYC…holy crap. Don’t even get me started on the horrors of bath/bed time. Both kids require full attention right now, what if that doesn’t change? I’m sure I’ll figure something out, but damn.
I honestly didn’t expect to have such anxiety about going out with two kids to run errands. I’m embarrassed about it. Has anyone else gone through this after having another baby? Or is it just me?

About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
This entry was posted in family, fears, issues, kids, mom to mom, parenthood, thoughts. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Double the Anxiety

  1. mom2nji says:

    I did, the jump from 2 to 3 is rough, but you can do it. As for Nolan bolting, there is not a darn thing wrong with putting a harness on him. Safety trumps all. Nolan will learn to wait a few minutes if mommy is nursing and trust me he will be okay. Also set up snacks ahead of time for him so you can grab them easily (even have a few in ziplocks sitting near where you nurse).

  2. dramaticmama says:

    I am sure your not the only one who has those feelings. I get those feelings and I only have one to deal with getting ready.

    You will be okay though, you will figure something out. You are a strong woman and an amazing mother. It just takes practice. ❤

  3. Shannon says:

    You're not the only one. It's going to take time to master this. Start with small outings. And remember that the boys will not always be the same age. It's so difficult today but then it's easy to think it will be exactly as difficult in 6 months, but in 6 months Nolan will have matured some and Archer will be much bigger and (in some ways) less needy. You have to remember in a couple months you will all be more used to your new family dynamics, more confident and the boys will be learning and maturing too and becoming easier to handle. Do any of the grocery stores you go to have those “car” carts where you can put a toddler in to “drive” the car? I found that helpful when I was at your stage. My older child could be buckled in to that part and the baby (when he was big enough) could sit in the seat of the cart or the baby bucket just sat up there when he was too little for sitting. I know Superstore sometimes has them. Hang in there and try to remember they are changing and maturing every day. It will get better! (On another note, I truly believe there should be an “It Gets Better” video campaign for parents. 🙂 )

  4. I'm sure your not the only one. I only have the one kid and I'm tired and mad by the time we are done getting ready and leave the house. It's hard work. That fear does hit me every time I think about having another baby.
    I'm sure you'll figure it out. Other moms do. I guess you just have to learn as you go, too bad kids don't come with owner manuals.

  5. jess ♥ says:

    @mom2nji: Good idea with the snack set up! I keep meaning to do up little snacks in a cupcake/muffin tray and put it in the fridge but alas my memory SUCKS lol. As for the harness…my sister makes fun of people with two kids who use them LOL. But who knows, maybe I could find a discreet thing…like those back packs that have a harness attached.

    @dramaticmama: aww thanks Jess! ALSO, it's good to see your face around my blog 😉 you've been slacking lately MISSY haha!

    @Shannon: Thanks, that gives me TONS of hope!!! Unfortantely the only store that has the “car” thing is Home Depot, don't think I can buy produce there 😉 hehe. But The Independent has two seater carts, and considering our regular grocery store {No Frills} is apparently going on strike we'll probably start going there for grocery shopping.

    @Nikki Darlin': YES. YES YES YES. Sometimes I get so exasperated, I mean…I'M TAKING YOU TO THE PARK FOR CRAPS SAKE COOPERATE haha! And yeah, too bad they don't!!!

  6. Tierney says:

    Hey! I nanny full time in the summer and one (foster) family I worked with had as many as 5 children under the age of 5 at any given time, so I feel your pain! If Nolan is too curious and energetic to stand beside you and hold onto your hand, the buggy, etc, I would definitely consider using a harness. They hav ones that look like stuffed animals and are actually backpacks that the kids wear with the harness attached at the back. Think about it, if you were baby-wearing with Archer & had a handle on Nolan, you'd almost be able to use 2 hands for anything else!

    I know it might seem silly but watching a baby and running after a toddle is no fun, not to mention you're recovering from a surgery & battle chronic pain- there is no need to aggravate your body! My mom had three kids under the age of 3, this was her go to! Also, Nolan will probably feel super cool with his “big boy backpack”! Good luck!

  7. Been there and all I can say is….you can do it. It's scary and hard at first but before you know it, you'll be a pro!

  8. I'm actually glad you posted this because I can totally relate. I sometimes feel really guilty about how stressed out I get trying to get the kids out the door but it seems like I'm not alone. And neither are you. It does get easier. This time of year sucks the most because the kids need to be bundled up of course. There was a time not too long ago that I faced all the challenges you're facing…Ryan works shift work, which certainly isn't as difficult as if Matt went up north to work, but he isn't home very often. So more often than not it's me and the kids. Of course as you know, Archer will eventually space his feedings out more and he'll begin eating baby food. Landon is 2 and a half and Hannah is 14 months old. I generally go out armed with a diaper in each kid's size, a ziplock baggy of wipes, a bottle, a sippy cup, and some cookies just in case. It takes time but you will get there too. In the mean time, you will become accustomed to getting two kids ready, on your own. It may take a bit before you work out a system but you will and you'll do great at it. What does Michelle Duggar say? “Practice makes progress.” Hate to admit it, but she's right.

  9. jess ♥ says:

    @An Irish Italian Blessing: Thanks love!!

    @Danielle-Marie: HAH! Practice does make progress, I guess. Good tips!! xoxo

  10. Alvaro says:

    I Believe you are though and can kick This “anxiety” far away..

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