Guest Post by Danielle: A Mother of Two

Danielle blogs over at Mama Dee, and she is one hilarious gal! I just adore her Teen Mom reviews, she is snarky and funny and I totally can’t wait to meet her {IT WILL HAPPEN DANIELLE, one day…one day in the future!}. Danielle has adorable children – her son Landon is a mere three days older than my son Nolan! 
Thank you for guest posting at my blog, love!!! 
xoxo
**** 
A Mother Of Two
Something I struggled with during Hannah’s pregnancy was: how on earth am I ever going to love another baby as much as I love Landon?
I felt that in order to love another child as much, I’d have to take away from him.
Every mother of two or more that I confided in claimed, “as soon as the new baby comes your heart will just double in size to make room to love the second child just as much.” And when Hannah got here it was true, my heart swelled.
But as much as I absolutely loved my precious little Hannah, I had trouble bonding with her. Everything was so instinctive with Landon. I just knew what to do. I figured it’d be the same thing with Hannah but at first it wasn’t. Hannah was a very different baby from Landon. She didn’t like tummy time much in the beginning. Her days and nights were mixed up. I couldn’t keep her happy without holding her. I felt detached from my child because I was incapable of settling her and making her comfortable. I thought I was a terrible mother because I remembered a time when I was only a mother of one child and how easy it was…but I couldn’t remember what it felt like not to be a mother at all. I cried every day to Ryan and every day he assured me I was a good mother.
We had to get to know each other for about six weeks before I started to feel fully connected to her. This was right around the time Hannah smiled for the first time. I guess for me, it was the sign I needed. That big, beautiful, gummy smile indicated to me that I had been doing something right these past weeks.
I’ll never be certain but I think for me, it took longer to bond with Hannah because having a second child is harder than having the first. You can’t just sleep while the baby sleeps because your first child depends on you too. Having that much more to do in a day and feeling exhausted while you do it may cloud your vision. However, as it gets easier, the fog clears and the light shines through. And I promise you, it does get easier.
For women feeling fear of the unknown when preparing to have a second child, this is my reassurance to you. For some women things might just click the moment your youngest is born. For others, like myself, it may take a little longer. But I can guarantee there will come a day sooner rather than later that you look at your new baby and realize that you do have the same feelings for this child that you do for your firstborn.
Your firstborn made you a mother. Your second born made you a mother of two. Each will have their own personality and characteristics that define them as their own person. You will love each in a different, equal way.
One particular day of guilty feelings, late in my daughter’s pregnancy I was voicing my concerns to a friend. That friend, a mother of two, said to me, “you may have to take some of your time away from him at first to tend to the new baby but in return you’re giving him a sibling and a friend for life.”
I found that very comforting. And if you’re a mother who is also a mother to be, I hope it comforts you too.

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About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
This entry was posted in friends, guest post, motherhood, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Guest Post by Danielle: A Mother of Two

  1. jess ♥ says:

    I felt connected instantly to both my babies, but I had trouble actually figuring Nolan out. It took me MONTHS to get into the motherhood thing, to trust my instincts and just go with it. This time, it feels easier, even if I'm getting less sleep {because one child does not nap during the day…wah!}.

    Great post Danielle!

  2. Thank you for letting me contribute to your guest posts! Congratulations once again on Archer. I'm so glad for you that you felt instantly connected to both of your children. You will sleep again, I promise you 🙂

    And yes, we WILL meet!

  3. jess ♥ says:

    @Danielle: Thank YOU for contributing! ❤ and we better!! I'm holding you to it! haha

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