On Getting My Tubes Tied…

Every time I tell someone I wanna get my tubes tied, they look at me like I have eight heads. “But why?! You’re only twenty-two! What if you want more kids in five years?” is the general reaction I get. But my husband and I have spent the last nine months discussing this. We have spent the last nine months noting just how difficult pregnancy really is on my body, and on everyone else in our family. We’ve discussed our future plans and what we hope to achieve/where we hope to be in five years. 
I will be going back to school as soon as Nolan starts kintergarden. I want to get an education and get a career to help provide for our family. I will be taking Office Administration – most likely Medical. I love being a stay-at-home mom, I really do, but when the kids are both in school full-time, I want to have options for myself. I honestly would go insane being a stay-at-home mom with two kids in school all day…what’s the point?
We want to take our kids on adventures, we want to travel with them and have them see some of the world. We want to be able to afford clothes, food, education, and fun things with ease. 
Not to mention, Matt and I have never really had any “alone” time. We got pregnant early on in our relationship, and our kids will be in college when we’re in our early forties. How awesome is that? 
Plus there is always my health, my bone disorder. Each of our children have a 50/50% chance of inheriting it, and if they have the gene, only a 10% chance of not displaying any symptoms. Nolan has MHE and he displays the symptoms. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that baby #2 won’t have MHE too. Of course if he does, that’s not the worst thing out there and we will deal with it. But obviously, as parents we are hoping he doesn’t. 
Matt and I have discussed the “regret” factor. I’m 100% positive that no matter how old you are, there’s always going to be a little longing for more children. It’s how our bodies are built. Baby fever is mother nature’s way of saying reproduce people! And that’s fine. If I do get baby fever, it doesn’t mean that a baby will be the end result of that fever. We want two. Financially, we feel that two is the best we can handle. Emotionally too, because we want to spend as much time with our kids individually and together as we can. We want to enrich their lives with learning experiences and adventures, and still afford the basic things like a home of our own one day. We want to build a little cottage at the family property to take them to each summer. 

Plus…pregnancy gets harder on your body every time, and I’m young now – I’ll bounce back easier than if I were to have kids later on in life. This pregnancy has been really hard on me both physically and mentally. I feel like Nolan’s gotten the short end of the stick because my mobility is even more limited than it usually is.

Plus Matt said if I got baby fever, he would just take me on a vacation to Cuba or something, so we could drink our faces off. {I plan on getting baby fever a lot if that means he’ll take me on vacations haha}. We’d only be able to do that, though, if we stopped at two. The more kids you have, the more money they cost. Some people can do that and it’s totally fine. It works for some people and it doesn’t for others, right?

I see us complete as a family of four. Us and our two boys. And I’m happy with that, so very happy. I don’t feel the need at all to try for a girl in a few years. I have a large family and there are tons of kids already, and two of my sisters’ haven’t even started their baby making yet. My boys will have each other, and tons of cousins to play with and adore. If I feel like buying cute girlie outfits, I have my niece to spoil.

I have been asked why I don’t just get a Mirena or something, but Matt and I are incredibly fertile and we’re not going to change our mind about it in five years, so what’s the point?

So, after my c-section on October 5th…I will be getting my tubes tied. Am I nervous? A little. But not because I fear I’ll regret it, I just fear the “1 in 200” chance of a tubal failing. Plus I know that my surgery will be a little longer than my last one, which means I’ll have to wait a little longer to hold my baby boy.

But, this is the right decision – for us. I definitely don’t judge anyone who has tons of kids, no way! I love large families and if my body could physically handle like 40 pregnancies {and there was enough money and time} I so would. But alas, my body isn’t so great at being pregnant, and I want to get my career started and I want to buy a house and take vacations with my family and just live, you know?

So there you have it. The reasons behind our decision to officially close up shop.

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About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
This entry was posted in decisions, family, life as I know it, quick notes, updates, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to On Getting My Tubes Tied…

  1. Heather says:

    It's nobody else's business.. You don't even have to tell people your plans! 🙂 And besides, if you're like the rest of us and get baby fever…your boys will start acting up and make you double think that in one second 😉

  2. Jessa says:

    Like Heather says, it is nobodies business. Regardless, you have excellent reasons for doing so. Not excuses, but actual reasons. And it really doesn't matter how old you are, or what your situation is, baby fever just happens. It's what you do with that fever… LOL

  3. dramaticmama says:

    I agree with both the above comments.
    I plan on doing the same thing when we have our second one. I only want 2 kids. That's it.
    Good luck! I am glad you stood up for yourself with this decision, because it is YOUR decision. ❤

  4. Heather says:

    Your body = your decision.

    If you get baby fever, get a puppy! They sure take your mind off of things, haha.

  5. Sarah says:

    People look at me like I'm insane when I say that I'd like to have a permanent removal, and I'm only 30 (or will be in December). I have my two kids. That's perfect for us. I think people always want to stick their nose into everyone else's business, sadly.

  6. jess ♥ says:

    @Heather: LOL so true!!

    @Jessa: You're right, and we'll be going on vacation when I get that fever BAHAHA! So I hope I get it at least once a year 😉 hehe

    @Dramaticmama: Sucks that I had to put up such a fight but…yeah! I'm glad it was worth it in the end. I'd be super pissed if the answer was still no.

    @Heather: YAY! A puppy! lol

    @Sarah: It's true, they do, which is partly why I wrote this {and it's not my bloggy friends sticking their nose in it either lol}. In this economy, two is MORE than enough in my humble opinion – for us anyway. This mama wants pretty things too!

  7. I think you made a really great point here about how you'll always long for a baby again, no matter how old you get. My reasons to get my tubes tied are very similar to yours. It IS scary but if it's for the best, then I support your decision.

  8. jess ♥ says:

    @Danielle-Marie: Thanks love! It is definitely a drastic step, but with us being so fertile I'd rather do it you know? Another pregnancy, with TWO kids, would be insanity. I also have to consider the fact that I need to have more surgeries. Seems like every time I go to have an operation or see my doctor about a problem spot, I get pregnant lol. So yeah, I gotta focus on my health more too.

  9. Crystal says:

    I would lovelovelove to get my tubes tied, but doctors around here won't do it because I haven't popped out a kid or three. Unfortunately, any time it comes up I'm bombarded with the “you'll regret it, don't do it” and “but what if this desire not to have kids is just a phase?” crap from people. I've finally just started replying with “Listen, I'm 34, I've been saying that I don't want kids since I was about 16, I think if it was a phase then I'd know by now.”

  10. jess ♥ says:

    @Crystal: I don't understand why they won't let you, if the age is 30 that they do it at :S doesn't it take away your reproductive rights? And you're right, you WOULD know if it was just a phase.

  11. I think it's really great what you're doing. I really respect it. Very sensible and smart! After all, there's always puppies 🙂 better than babies in so many ways! The don't talk back, you don't have to send them to college, they poop outside, and you can sell their children! hahaha

    Katherine

  12. Pingback: So Critical. | The Fevered Pen

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