When the kids are in school…{a response post}

I read a post by Chicky Baby at Aiming Low yesterday. What happens to a SAHM when the kids go to school? 
I decided to write a “response post”, because I just knew my comment would be way too ridiculously long, since I have a lot to say about it.
And I sorta thought it would be an interesting writing project.
So, here goes!

What do I plan to do when the kids don’t need me {as much}?


Before I became a mom, I never really gave it much thought. {Then and again, I wasn’t giving parenting much thought at all! Nolan was quite the surprise}. My mom was a SAHM and always had been. 
When I pictured my future, I was working a great paying job and living in a totally rad apartment by myself. Sure, I dreamed of meeting “Mr Right” and having babies and a house of my own, but in my dreams…I always pictured myself with a career, and that stuff coming later {when I was in my thirties or something}. I had a lot of fun thinking about all the cool stuff I would do on my own. Traveling, adventuring, owning a fancy car. Having the wardrobe of my dreams because I worked and could pay for it all myself.
Looking back now, I can easily analyze why that was. I didn’t want to end up like my mom.
She was a house wife for 31 years, a SAHM. Even when we grew up and moved out, she continued to hold on to her “SAHM/housewife” status. She had no drive to get any kind of job.
I couldn’t imagine the isolation. It’s isolating as is being a SAHM with young kids…but when the kids aren’t home all day? Or when they’ve moved out? How could one stand it?
And watching my mom fall more and more apart year after year…watching her loose any sense of herself at all…well, it scared me. A lot. More than I realized at the time.
Of course, I’m sure this doesn’t happen to all house-wives. My granny was SAHM and housewife, and she’s the bomb diggity bomb.

I once had a nightmare early on in this pregnancy that had me basically bawling my eyes out and clinging to Matt in my sleep.
In this nightmare, I was home alone in an empty house. No kids around, no husband. I knew, as I sat there on the couch in my dream, that my kids were in school and my husband was at work.
And there wasn’t anything for me to do. Cleaning a house only takes so long if it has your undivided attention, after all.
It was one of the scariest dreams I have ever had.

Don’t get me wrong…I love being a SAHM, I really truly do. I am giving myself a solid good two years with baby number 2 before I pursue my education in college. I’m not entirely sure of what I’ll take in two years, but I have plenty of time to think about it.
While the kids are young, I want to work part-time so I still get plenty of time staying at home with them. Plenty of time for fun activities and adventures, yet still time for me to start building a career for myself. Because when my boys are in school full-time, I’ll need something to do with my time.
Contributing to our household when our babies aren’t so little and needy is super important to me. I don’t begrudge anyone else for wanting to stay at home, even when their kids are in school…but I guess because I personally haven’t been able to financially contribute at all in our relationship since it began, that it’s really important for me to do so in the future.

So, the thought of being a SAHM when the kids are in school is scary to me. Especially when they’re older and less dependent on Matt and I. I’m totally going to have a part-time job for the “younger” school years, that way I can still get my house work finished and my grocery shopping done, as well as have plenty of after school time with my boys, while working a part-time job. When they are older and need me way less because they have licenses or have figured out how to take public transportation and can help out around the house, then I will work full-time.
Just to keep myself busy and distracted, just to feed my ambitions and goals. I don’t know if that’s selfish or not…but it’s how I feel.

Are you a stay-at-home mom? What are your plans when the kids are in school?!


About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
This entry was posted in fears, housewifey stuff, parenthood, random, SAHM, the future, thoughts, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to When the kids are in school…{a response post}

  1. I want to be a SAHM until my kids are in school, then I want to go to school to become a nurse. I see no point, purpose, or reason to continue being a SAHM once they are of school age. Like you said, housekeeping and buying groceries can only take up so much of your time.

  2. Oh, and I don't think that it's selfish to want to get out and do something with ourselves. Being a mother isn't the only dream we've ever had in our lives and if anything we're just bettering the quality of life for our children because by producing an income we can give them more.

  3. jessi ♥ says:

    @Danielle-Marie: Exactly 🙂 I don't feel so guilty reading that lol!

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