Not Zen.

I have absolutely no energy as of late, which really sucks. Cause at the beginning of this week, I went through this super awesome no tired few days, meaning I didn’t feel tired for a few days. I didn’t experience any OMFG I NEED A NAP NOOOOOW moments. But they’re back! With a vengeance. I’m pretty sure Thursdays will be the worst day from hell ever. T gets dropped off at 9:30am on Thursdays, yet Nolan still gets up at 7am. I have T from 9:30 til 5:30, and have to bundle up the kiddos and myself at 3:30 to pick up J from her bus. 3-5pm is my totally dead time, I am exhausted. I weigh a thousand pounds and the last thing I want to do is move. Obviously, when you’re entertaining other peoples’ kids you can’t really lay on the couch and cat nap {not that I do that with Nolan, no, ::side eye::}.

Tuesdays aren’t so bad because I have the girls from 7:45am-2:30pm. I don’t need to bring Nolan with us when I walk J to the bus because Matt is home. T leaves half an hour before my absolute dead tired time starts. Monday’s and Friday’s aren’t too bad because I only have the girls for a couple of hours. Wednesdays are perfect because I have “the day off” {from the girls, anyway, not Nolan}. But Thursdays will kill me.

Yesterday, I was so exhausted all day long and I couldn’t nap. Matt insisted that we do our taxes, so we ran around doing that during the day {with BOTH T and Nolan…fun fun}. Then after the girls left Matt decided we needed to go to the mall. It was tons of fun, yes, but I was so exhausted by the time I came home I couldn’t move off the couch. I ended up falling asleep so I could “watch my shows” later.

Matt came to wake me up at 9pm and I actually pushed him off the bed onto the floor. In my sleep. Yeah, figure that one out. He was so mad. I woke up, came into the livingroom and he was still stewing about it.

I apologized and we watched Grey’s Anatomy but I could not stay away for Jersey Shore so I went to bed at 10 again. The entire time we watched Grey’s I was dizzy and unfocused and exhausted. I felt nauseous too. I had the spins when I finally went to bed at 10…it was like I was drunk only I wasn’t, I was just so exhausted. I fell asleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow, after attempting to have a heart to heart with Matt about why I need him to chip in just a little more. I’m not saying he doesn’t – because he does. Usually though, I’m able to stay on top of cleaning this place and laundry without his help so he’s not exactly used to me needing his help.

I don’t remember being nearly this tired last time around, but I suppose there’s a reason for it…if you did remember, you probably wouldn’t get pregnant again.

I’m having a horrible time staying on top of my house chores too. I did manage to fold three baskets of laundry and put them away today – but more awaits me in the dryer and in the play pen. I did manage to wash the dishes, but the living room and kitchen table is a complete mess still. And guess what I’ll be doing during Nolan’s nap time? Napping. I need to.

I know my MIL is coming up tomorrow, but thankfully she’s not a monster-in-law and could care less if the house is a little messy. Besides, it won’t be…Matt will be helping me clean tonight and tomorrow. We’ll get it done, which is why I can’t even be bothered to stress about it now!!!

I thought this pregnancy would be a breeze, I thought I would be more zen-like than I am. I sort of feel a bit inadequate for not being able to do all the stuff I did before with such ease. Now it takes tons of energy and I’m just not motivated. Pregnancy symptom or not, it’s irritating!! I’m only 5 weeks in. I can’t wait for the first trimester to be over, at least I had some energy during the 2nd trimester! And the 3rd was just full of some ridiculous nesting urge so I won’t be worried about that either.

Ugh. Well, it’s nap time for both Nolan and I!

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About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
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