Not Zen.

I have absolutely no energy as of late, which really sucks. Cause at the beginning of this week, I went through this super awesome no tired few days, meaning I didn’t feel tired for a few days. I didn’t experience any OMFG I NEED A NAP NOOOOOW moments. But they’re back! With a vengeance. I’m pretty sure Thursdays will be the worst day from hell ever. T gets dropped off at 9:30am on Thursdays, yet Nolan still gets up at 7am. I have T from 9:30 til 5:30, and have to bundle up the kiddos and myself at 3:30 to pick up J from her bus. 3-5pm is my totally dead time, I am exhausted. I weigh a thousand pounds and the last thing I want to do is move. Obviously, when you’re entertaining other peoples’ kids you can’t really lay on the couch and cat nap {not that I do that with Nolan, no, ::side eye::}.

Tuesdays aren’t so bad because I have the girls from 7:45am-2:30pm. I don’t need to bring Nolan with us when I walk J to the bus because Matt is home. T leaves half an hour before my absolute dead tired time starts. Monday’s and Friday’s aren’t too bad because I only have the girls for a couple of hours. Wednesdays are perfect because I have “the day off” {from the girls, anyway, not Nolan}. But Thursdays will kill me.

Yesterday, I was so exhausted all day long and I couldn’t nap. Matt insisted that we do our taxes, so we ran around doing that during the day {with BOTH T and Nolan…fun fun}. Then after the girls left Matt decided we needed to go to the mall. It was tons of fun, yes, but I was so exhausted by the time I came home I couldn’t move off the couch. I ended up falling asleep so I could “watch my shows” later.

Matt came to wake me up at 9pm and I actually pushed him off the bed onto the floor. In my sleep. Yeah, figure that one out. He was so mad. I woke up, came into the livingroom and he was still stewing about it.

I apologized and we watched Grey’s Anatomy but I could not stay away for Jersey Shore so I went to bed at 10 again. The entire time we watched Grey’s I was dizzy and unfocused and exhausted. I felt nauseous too. I had the spins when I finally went to bed at 10…it was like I was drunk only I wasn’t, I was just so exhausted. I fell asleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow, after attempting to have a heart to heart with Matt about why I need him to chip in just a little more. I’m not saying he doesn’t – because he does. Usually though, I’m able to stay on top of cleaning this place and laundry without his help so he’s not exactly used to me needing his help.

I don’t remember being nearly this tired last time around, but I suppose there’s a reason for it…if you did remember, you probably wouldn’t get pregnant again.

I’m having a horrible time staying on top of my house chores too. I did manage to fold three baskets of laundry and put them away today – but more awaits me in the dryer and in the play pen. I did manage to wash the dishes, but the living room and kitchen table is a complete mess still. And guess what I’ll be doing during Nolan’s nap time? Napping. I need to.

I know my MIL is coming up tomorrow, but thankfully she’s not a monster-in-law and could care less if the house is a little messy. Besides, it won’t be…Matt will be helping me clean tonight and tomorrow. We’ll get it done, which is why I can’t even be bothered to stress about it now!!!

I thought this pregnancy would be a breeze, I thought I would be more zen-like than I am. I sort of feel a bit inadequate for not being able to do all the stuff I did before with such ease. Now it takes tons of energy and I’m just not motivated. Pregnancy symptom or not, it’s irritating!! I’m only 5 weeks in. I can’t wait for the first trimester to be over, at least I had some energy during the 2nd trimester! And the 3rd was just full of some ridiculous nesting urge so I won’t be worried about that either.

Ugh. Well, it’s nap time for both Nolan and I!


About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
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