As if I wasn’t ALREADY stressing…

Last night I went to a walk in clinic {not the one that I owe $70 to, a different after hours clinic} to try and get the ball rolling on getting an OB and prenatal health care. I know it’s early, but I don’t have a family doctor, which means things are going to be a little harder than the last time. Last time, I went to see my family doctor and he sent me to get bloodwork and set me up with an ultrasound automatically at 12 weeks and got the referral moving for an OB closer to where I was living. It was basically effortless. This time around, I don’t have a family doctor and all I really wanted was some answers on how the set up for my prenatal care is going to work.

I got there around 5:20pm, and didn’t end up in the examining room until 7:20. It was maddening, the wait. I really wish we could find a bloody family doctor! The walk in clinic doctor came in, told me I was pregnant {duh!} and asked if it was planned. I told him it was – it just happened a little sooner than expected. I told him I just went off my pill last month. He took out his little calender thing and said if this pregnancy works out, you’re estimated due date is October 16th”. Then he cautioned me.

“1 in 5 pregnancies result in miscarriage, so you might not want to tell everybody that you’re pregnant until you hit the 12 week mark”.

Then he told me that, in the case of pregnant ladies who don’t have family doctors, the OBs want the clinics to have their prenatal information filled out prior to receiving the referral. You know, all those questions: are you married? Do you have support in this pregnancy? Do you have any health issues? Etc etc. He said “if this pregnancy works out, we’ll send the referral“. Um, gee thanks?

And just because he couldn’t leave on a positive note, at the end of my appointment he said “If everything works out, congratulations!”

Honestly? This appointment did not soothe my mind at all. In fact I’m not even worse than I was before I went. This doctor was just dripping with negativity. Is it just me? Or did anyone elses’ doctor act the same way?

When I was pregnant with Nolan, I went just as “early” to see a doctor and get the ball rolling. Nobody told me to keep it “hush” because 1 in 5 pregnancies result in miscarriage. But it seems like this time around, everyone is eager to drip out the negativity. Every other word out of this doctors mouth was negative.

As if you don’t already have enough worries about everything when you’re “newly” pregnant, but hearing it from everyone you talk to? It might not work out, miscarriages are common, don’t tell everyone because it’s too early…it’s not exactly a vote of confidence is it?

I’m going to try and not freak out about it. I got the ball rolling on the prenatal care, and that was my intention. I need to focus on other things, like Nolan and Matt, and try not to go insane with worries and stress out over it. I know, stress is bad. One would think the second time around I would be less stressed than the first time around. But last time I was oblivious. Nobody told me those odds, or said anything like “I hope it works out”. The reactions were very different. And truthfully? I’m super pissed. This was a planned pregnancy, and I wanted to be super happy about it. But now? I’m super worried about my “odds”.

Anyway…T will be arriving in half an hour, and my plan is to keep busy with her and Nolan. We’re going to colour today, since I’m fresh out of baking supplies and painting supplies. I’ll need to go get J from her bus with the kiddos at 3:30 – and I’m not looking forward to that because little Nolan somehow lost one of his winter boots. I can’t find the damn thing anywhere, and trust me – I’ve looked! I have no idea what I’m going to do. Luckily, Caitlin sent me a one piece snow suit. I guess I’ll just have to put the super big snow boots on him {a size 8 when he is a size 5} and hope they stay.

Friday, I am supposed to go out for lunch with Britt and our babies. However I’m super broke because the gym membership will be coming out. Saturday, Matt will be spending the day with us instead of ice fishing {a rare Saturday occurrence} and we’re going to take Nolan to the EYC for the morning. Monday I’ll be taking Nolan to one of the EYC family hubs for a Valentine’s Day party. So I’ve got a huge list of activities to try and keep me from freaking out over the “dire” results from my walk in clinic appointment.

Ugh. April can’t get here soon enough! Not only am I super tired of snow, but I need to get to that “12 week mark” to relax better. People {doctors, etc} aren’t making it easy for me right now! I keep thinking about those “odds” 😦

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About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
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