Today Can Suck It.

Today has not been my friend, not at all.

First off, I had to play the “re-dial” game with the walk-in-clinic Nolan and I use for our health care as we don’t have family doctors up North. After playing this “re-dial” game for literally half an hour, I finally get through only to be told very rudely that they won’t see me until I pay a $70 charge from a missed appointment last May.

An appointment I didn’t even KNOW about.

You see, that walk-in-clinic offers “foot clinics” every once and a while at the hospital, and you can sign up. They never know the date, so they call you closer too. Well, I never got a phone call so I didn’t know when it was and therefore it completely slipped my mind. Plus May was the month I had my leg surgery, thus a wee tiny foot clinic would completely slip from my mind and memory.

I told her I didn’t have the $70 that day but I needed to be seen. She told me “too bad, we won’t be able to see you until you pay it.” So I did what any over-emotional, stressed out preggo would do: I hung up on her.

I know, bitch move. BUT, I was just so upset and trying to think. My mind was spinning a mile a minute and I was angry, not only at the $70 charge that I feel is unfair and unnecessary, but her tone with me.

After that, Matt tried calling his doctor. Again, his doctor won’t take on any patients. They gave us a number for a list that we could get on. I tried to put Nolan and I both on that list but they’d only take me because apparently Nolan is still listed as having a family doctor – from back down South.

Matt tried to calm me down and made me a bacon grilled cheese before I took off to the emergency room to see if they could get me some referrals or something. After parking a block away and walking all the way down, I discovered the emergency room “had moved”.

So I came home, had a nap because I was exhausted and pissed off, then woke up and tried calling a couple of local midwives. NONE of them will take me because I am “too high risk”. Which really sucks, because I was hoping for a midwife experience with this baby.

Also; the fact that our bank account is bone dry until Friday isn’t exactly calming our nerves. You see, I had a stupid stupid month. Not only did I get a tattoo, but I also treated myself to a haircut. An additional $205 I shouldn’t have paid. Not to mention, when my friend Matty B was down, we went out for lunch twice and I ordered pizza and picked up a 26er of cherry vodka {which, don’t worry, I haven’t touched since finding out I’m pregnant}. So that was an additional $90. So, $295 I shouldn’t have spent.

Yeah, I’m kicking myself hard core times. I know we’ll be able to put back into our saving account, but I really shouldn’t have been so foolish. If I hadn’t have gone out for food with my friend so much, and bought that vodka {which I can’t even drink damnit!} then I would have the stupid $70 to give to that walk-in-clinic so they could stop being colossal assholes and see me.

Not to mention, I’m so exhausted it’s ridiculous. I don’t remember being this tired last time around! Maybe it’s the added stress of not knowing what my medical care will be. Going to walk-in-clinics at night seems a little…sad. I was hoping for a calm, zen like experience this time around. I was definitely hoping to not pull the whole “re-dial” game every time I needed in for prenatal care.

It’s a good thing I’m only 4 weeks, because I have tons of time to figure it out but it’s so completely tiring. I’m trying not to lose my head and turn into an emotional banshee but circumstances are making it difficult. I know Matt is just as stressed and worried as I am.

ARG. This totally sucks. Plus I’m sucking at being a housewife right now. The house is a damn disaster already. I’m not making it look like this pregnancy is going to be “no issue” for poor my poor husband.


About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
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