The Plan?

For quite some time, my dad has been asking us when we’re moving back down south. He wants us to move as quickly as possible, I’m sure if there was a way to do it he’d be happy if we moved down like right now. But Matt is in school until August, and he already has a full-time job lined up at the fusion welding shop he works at part-time right now.

I’m being pulled in both directions – to move back down south, where all my family and friends are, or to stay here, where Matt’s dad, stepmom, brother T and N&D {Matt’s sister-in-law and brother} are. I obviously love all of our family members deeply and I am very confused about where I want to be.

I miss my sisters, I miss my dad. I miss having tons of friends around me. I miss our old town, and our old apartment. I think I miss it right now because it actually had three bedrooms, but still. I miss being close to Matt’s mom {who is my mother figure now too}. We had so many built in baby sitters, it was ridiculous. If ever we wanted to go on a date, all we had to do is call at least three people and someone would be available.

Down here, we don’t have anybody to call really. Nat & D babysit when they can, but they are extremely busy with their own lives. They both work and partake in several other activities. I won’t ask Matt’s dad or step-mom because they’ve never offered. That’s a big thing for me. After our huge falling out in August, I really don’t enjoy asking them favours and never do if I can help it.

So, yeah. When I called my dad today to tell him the estimated expected due date, he immediately asked if we’d be back in town for the birth. And I don’t know. I’d love to be, because I know I’d have the help I will need from my sisters, my dad, and Kim. BUT…here are our issues.

  1. Matt already has a full-time job lined up immediately after he graduates. Down south, we’re not sure what the job market is.
  2. Our apartment here – although small – is extremely affordable. 

That’s really all I’ve got. Two small seemingly minor things that could pose quite the challenge for our little family. Plus rent is way more expensive down there. As a result of being closer to Toronto, car insurance is also more expensive.


So I don’t know, I can’t give answers yet and I think it upsets everyone. We haven’t told any of our family here that we’re thinking of moving back down south. They’ll probably try to talk us out of it if we do.

Does anyone else face that? Everyone trying to talk you out of doing things? I wish I could be more strong in our “we’re doing this” resolve. I’m such a people pleaser and I’m always trying to do the best thing for everyone else. I have to learn that the best thing for everyone else isn’t always the best thing for me and its sometimes just not good for me at all. So, yeah.

I don’t know what “our plan” is. Not yet anyway. I don’t know where we’ll be moving, IF we’ll be moving {right away anyway}, or what’s going to happen. Shockingly, we’re going to be just as unprepared as we were the first time haha. Only this time we sorta know what we’re doing and what to expect.

By the way…I took the second pregnancy test this morning and the lines were very solid. Haha.
Also: I slept like absolute crap last night 😦 my back was killing me, from 2am until 3:30am I could barely breath. I had to ditch my pillow. MY PILLOW, damnit. It was horrible. Hopefully this isn’t a taste of “whats to come”. I don’t remember that from my pregnancy with Nolan.


About J.C. Hannigan

25. Mother. Wife. Lover of words. Weaver of stories. My first book, Collide, is available in e-book for Amazon Kindle and Kobo.
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